Thank you, Lord!

Sometimes, God surprises us. There are days when He decrees that something is just not meant to be, and sometimes, He pulls a rabbit out of a hat and gives you something you had so desperately wanted, but didn't think you were going to be able to have. That's how today was. I was feeling a bit depressed and "off" today, because I wanted to be with Odysseus, but I didn't believe that it was going to work out. Then, like a deus ex machina, he's right there before me, and suddenly, all is right in the world. I feel happy and at peace. Thank you, Lord for all you have done for me! I am so honored that You would have chosen such a person to be in my life, and I can only pray that it will last for a long time to come. I haven't been so happy in a very long time! And this relationship, at this stage, is more natural, more beautiful than it ever was with Willoughby. So, my question now is this: Did I finally find my Brandon in Odysseus? I cannot say for now, and I'm not going to force it. I'm just going to wait, watch, pray, and savor each and every moment.

Love and thanks!

Walking in the Rain (Sense and Sensibility)

The weather today is TERRIBLE! It's been wet and rainy and gross...but to be honest, I kinda like this weather...It's perfect for curling up with a good book and a cup of coffee... Today, however, there are two problems with this... 1. The roomie gave up coffee for Lent, so for solidarity, I've also tried to give it up (or at least resist drinking it in her presence). 2. I've been inside all day, and I'm starting to go stir-crazy-- I just can't sit still!

This weather really reminds me of Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin. The wonderful roomie actually introduced me to this story at a point in my life when I was still recovering from a toxic friendship, and I needed to find a way to escape from this man who was making me into something I was not. The roomie and I joked that all I needed to do would be to wander in the rain until my Brandon came for me. Well, I wandered in the rain of life, and a Willoughby came for me instead. :(

"When he was present she had no eyes for anyone else. Everything he did was right. Everything he said was clever. If their evenings at the Park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together, and scarcely spoke a word to anybody else. Such conduct made them, of course, most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them."

~Jane Austin (Sense and Sensibility)

He sounds so wonderful, but underneath all that is a total loser; and I'm not interested in that for myself... Like Marianne, I was in a vulnerable state when Willoughby found me, and I fell for his charms. Sometimes, in the dark, rainy parts of our lives, we can't really see if the person coming to our aid is a Willoughby or a Brandon.

However, I've finally gotten past Willoughby, and I'm ready for my Brandon to come and find me when I fall. This time, I've learned...I'm not going to be caught searching anymore. I'm just going to wander in the rain until I stumble; then, Brandon will come.