Odysseus #7 (Ulysses Terminalis)

I had noticed for a time your distance
And perhaps I ignored what should
Have been noted.

You weren't yourself; you kept apart,
And I, so lovestruck,
Was more blinded than Oedipus
Or Tiresias, who though, without eyes
Both saw and knew all.

Perhaps, I was not blind, but stubborn;
I thought that I could make this work
I loved you, so you should be able to love me.

You were wasting away under my fingertips
Pulling back, but still tied to me.
And, I was so sure that we were destined to be;
But the Grey Sisters wove our tapestries on separate looms.

You came to me and told me that you were sorry.
You held my naked heart in your hands
And with the utmost delicacy, you cut it to pieces;
And it took all that I had
To hold my life's blood inside me,
To keep back the hot and bitter tears.

You could not look at my eyes,
Red rimmed,
But you whispered to the heart in your hands.
You told me I was wonderful, that you cared
But that your feelings were not the same as mine.
And that you felt it would be best if we parted
For a time.

I stared at my heart in your hands,
Frustrated and pained,
Though not surprised.
I had known this would happen
But, I thought that we were destined,
Because I loved you.

And you walked me around our island,
Trying to comfort me as you crushed my heart,
Almost offering me the pieces as an apology,
Some sickening sacrifice for what
Had been done to me.

And, I wasn't angry with you,
as you thought I would be.
I accepted what you told me, even though
I hated to hear it.

It was painful for you as well,
And I could read it on your face,
In your posture
So, I could hold you no grudge.
You are a good man, Ulysses,
And I believe you loved me,
But in a different sort of way.
All that you were doing was for me,
Because you could not bear to see me cry.

And, I walked you to the edge of the island,
Where a ship awaited you,
And just before you left,
You hugged me;
And tipped the pieces of heart into my palm.

I didn't wait to see you off.
I walked away, returned to my rooms,
The dank and gloom;
To sleep for ten thousand, million years
Until you come back to me.

~Penelope

~Calypso

Odysseus #6

"Come with me," you whispered,

and took me away.

Far over the mountains, plains,

and rocky grounds of Ithaca

and I wondered if I

would ever see home again.

But it really didn't matter,

Because I was with you.

Hidden temples,

forbidden valleys,

and through the paths of arrows,

you kept me safe

and my heart rejoiced,

Because I was with you.

And you brought me home,

safe and sound.

And we rested on the jeweled sands

of the rocky shorelines at Ithaca.

It was far surpassing the Elysian Fields,

Because I was with you.

Odysseus #5

the icy wind chills my heart and hands

and i only think of you.

hold me close;

keep me warm.

Odysseus #4

And we walked together

in the hidden caverns

and the treasure troves.

And you were so wonderful;

so perfect, my Odysseus,

and I wanted to hold you

and to be held by you.

But for the time,

I held you with my eyes,

for although we were alone,

the time was not right.

And we spoke of many things

and our voices mingled

like an angelic chime

and a plain sparrow squawk;

for I was not worthy of you,

but you did not seem to care.

And I felt such reluctance as we parted;

but the distance does not feel so vast,

for in my hand is a piece of you,

and in your hand is a piece of me.

Odysseus #3

god you are handsome

and I want you to hold me,

my Odysseus.

Odysseus 2

I waited for you on the rocky outcroppings;

sitting on the rocks before the ships

as they sailed in and out of the bay.

And I planted a prayer in my heart

that I would find you at your haunting.

And you came.

I said a prayer to Jove that you would see me;

look up on the rock face

and notice I was there;

but your eyes did not stray in my direction.

I whispered your name onto the wind

and you heard my voice and came to me.

I could listen to you talk for hours,

Odysseus, my love;

but the tide called you away,

"I have sails to mend," you told me,

"But I will come back when I have them,

and sit with you a little longer."

You returned with sails for mending,

and I watched you from the rocky cliff,

watched you work and then

rest in the golden sand.

And you made me smile.

***

The cafe was dark, barely lit,

but you came and found me anyways,

and filled the room with light

by your presence, and your music.

And I listened, barely able

to hear the notes,

but it was beautiful because it was you.

And again, you saw me, Odysseus.

But you did not turn away

as I thought you would.

It would have been so easy to forget

that I was there.

But you came to me.

And you filled me with joy

at the sound of your voice;

and I felt so honored that you,

Odysseus, the king among men,

would choose to be in my presence;

Me, Penelope,

a girl of the kingdom, an acquaintance,

not even a friend or a lover.

And my heart sang the melody you played

in that little cafe.

And you made me smile.

Finding Odysseus

Okay...So I know I haven't posted too many literary thoughts lately, but today, the moment has presented itself. My official student status is that of an English Major/ Classical Studies Minor, and so the Classical Mythology course I'm taking perfectly supplements both requirements. For the past few weeks, we've been reading The Odyssey by Homer. And, I think I've found my Odysseus....

It's not like I put him into this position on purpose, or that I was looking for someone to play the role in my mind's eye as I read, but it seemed that one day, I just looked up and *poof!* he just slipped into the character so perfectly! This, however, is different from how things went down with Willoughby. For Willoughby, I consciously slipped him into that role, because he was the embodiment of the character. For my Odysseus, I can't say if he would be the perfect man for the role, but there's something about him that makes him so fascinating; just like Odysseus has always been.

Do I like him? I really can't tell you that. Perhaps? Maybe he just makes me really happy when he's around, and that's all there is to it; nothing more. But, he's quirky and funny...and I love to listen to his voice...

~"Penelope"

"I am Odysseus son of Laertes, known before all men for the study of crafty designs, and my fame goes up to the heavens." ~The Odyssey