Reflection

The weather was much cooler today than it has been.  It's already starting to feel like fall, even though we're about a month away.  I sat outside after dinner and did some reading, but I'm not used to these chillier temperatures yet, and my toes were freezing in my flip-flops.

The other day, my coworkers were joking about getting me a boyfriend, and I was quick to discourage the idea.  But, it would be nice.  I'm nearly thirty and still single.  I have not had anyone who made an impression on me in a while--I mean really made an impression, like made me think I could actually see a future with him--not since Movie Boy, and that was five or so years ago.

I feel a little sad, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm lonely or just nostalgic for the changing leaves.

Update

I think this year, I'm going to try and write more on this blog.  It's been years since I've written consistently.  Don't expect anything along the lines of how it used to be, but it might be fun to start writing again.

A little bit of an update on how I've been:

2018 has started off well for me.  I've just celebrated my 1 year anniversary as a librarian (a dream come true!) and I'm finally starting to get out of the house more.  Graduating from college has been difficult, since I've reverted to my misanthropic tendencies and have have not been going out nearly as much as I used to.  The good news is that I'm starting to get out more, and am trying to meet new people.  So far, I'm not completely on board with being a social butterfly.  At heart, I'm still a bit of a loner.

In case you hadn't figured out, things did not work out well with my library patron.  I mean, we're still friends, and things are going well that way, but we're not doing a lot of hanging out or anything like that.  I think it's my fault.  I told him that I loved hanging out with him, but that we would have to do it outside of the library, since it wasn't professional for me to spend my breaks hanging out at a table in the middle of the library, flirting and laughing at his jokes. I need to maintain an air of "professional librarian" not "goofy, lovesick sot" (although I didn't tell him that last bit).  And it seemed like he understood, but we never did anything outside of the library.  And he stopped coming by to see me.  And then after weeks of radio silence, he sent me a Happy Valentine's Day text (that night, so like, too late to actually go out for a Valentine's Day date) and then nothing.  I still see him at programs, and like I said, we're still friends, but it's not the same.

On the flip-side, I saw a cute guy at the office supply store.  We started talking a little, and I told him where I worked (we were talking about library resources and 3D printing) and he seemed really interested (in the 3D printing) and said he'd stop by when he has a day off.  Now, that was Friday and I didn't work this weekend, so I'm not sure if he'll be in or not.  Still, a girl can dream, right?  It was the first time I had really flirted with anyone in about a year, and that makes me feel really sad.

Anyways, I'll leave off at that for now.  Hope to write again soon.

So, There's This Guy...

I can't remember the last time I posted a legit "lovey-dovey" entry on here. But, for those of you who have been around since the beginning, you know that Em has fallen for her fair share of men.  Today, there's a new one.  And by my calculations, this is the first real crush I've had since Movie Boy back in college (three years ago!).

So, to keep things short and sweet, there's this guy who comes to the library a lot.  We talk a bit, and he comes to my programs.  We're friends on Facebook, but he's rarely online, so I can't use this as a consistent means of connection.  I've "known" him for about two years.  We've not hung out outside of the library, so I can't say that I know a lot about him.  I do know that he's very sweet, a little shy, gets along well with everyone, and is Catholic, which is perhaps the biggest deal for me.

I've been trying to figure out how to talk to him more.  But, I'm usually busy (since I'm at work) and I give him about as much time as I can muster.  But, I'm going to try to spend more time with him when I see him, try to break the ice, and try to get him to talk a bit more.  He's not so shy that he doesn't talk, but he seems like the kind of guy who might have trouble taking the first step to initiate anything.  From what I see of him online, he likes to keep busy, but it doesn't appear that he has a lot of super-close friends or that he's dating anyone.  Mostly spends time with family (that's how I am, too).  I don't mind initiating things, and have asked guys out before, but I want to stay professional (nothing professional about asking out patrons!) and honestly, I would like to be the one pursued instead of the one doing the pursuing.  You know?  I asked Movie Boy out years ago.  I wish it would have been the other way around.

Long story short: Emmy likes a guy.  Not sure if he feels the same way about me (although, it's not as though I've been super-obvious about it on my end, either).  If you have any suggestions for moving things along, then feel free to share.  If not, stay tuned, and hopefully I'll have a little more to tell you about in a few weeks.

Library Boy

So, there is this cute guy who comes to the library and attends my programming every month.  I've had my eye on him for some time now, and we talk a bit, but I don't want to come across as too forceful (since the librarian shouldn't be making her patrons uncomfortable).  But, anyways, we talk a bit when he comes in, and I've really enjoyed our brief conversations (I still have to work, and he seems a bit shy).  Well, anyways, my coworker told me that he asked for my full name today.  (I think someone might be looking me up on Facebook....)

Fingers crossed, lovely readers!  I would love to get to the "let's grab a coffee" stage of things with him someday.  He seems like a really nice guy.

What to Do?

So, I tend to overthink things, and basically everyone who follows this blog knows this.  Anyways, there's this guy who comes to some of my library programs--I have an ongoing event series that he always attends.  Real nice guy.  We sometimes talk, but never for any real length of time.  I try to engage him in longer conversations, but it seems like we're always on different pages--when he wants to talk, I'm busy, and when I want to talk, he seems distracted and has to cut out of the conversation early.

Unfortunately, I can't give 100% attention to him because I have to take care of set-up and clean-up for my programs, and keep things in order.  But, I would like to talk to him more.  The thing is, I don't want him to think that I'm coming on to him, because I can't figure out how I feel about him.  I've creeped on him on Facebook, and I'm happy to see that he's single.  The thought of him finding a girlfriend bothers me, so I suppose there is some emotion there.  But, I just don't think I want a boyfriend right now.  I don't know.  Honestly, I haven't really thought seriously about a guy since Movie Boy (and that was when I graduated in 2013).

My mom pointed out that I should try to engage this library cutie in more conversation.  Which, is easier said than done (see above) since we seem to be on different pages.  I surprised myself with how irritated that comment made me.  I'm trying to engage him in conversation, and I'm trying to be nice and friendly, but I have other stuff I have to do, too, and I can't afford to just hang out and talk all night.  Now, if we went out somewhere, I would be free to talk, but I don't want to make him think it was a date.

The problem is that I don't know how I feel.  Part of me obviously feels something, but the other half of me is pretty guarded, and wants to get to know him better before I dive into anything.  I guess, too, my pride is bruised, since I thought I was doing things right, but clearly, my mom thinks I'm not making enough effort.  What do you guys think?

He Might Be a Keeper If...

As cliched as it sounds, in looking for a suitable dating partner, I want to find someone who "gets" me.  And the more I embrace myself as a person, the more I realize that a lot of people out there are just not going to be able to fill that void.  There are people out there who could date just about anyone, but I find that I need a special someone who gets me on all those weird and quirky levels that makes up me.

Like tonight.  Just hanging out, watching clips from the Alan Arkin/Christopher Lee film The Return of Captain Invincible on YouTube.  I just requested it at the library, and I'm super-excited :)

Possible conversation?

Boyfriend: Hey :)

Emmy: Hey :)

BF: What you doing?
Em: Sitting around in my pajamas, watching clips from The Return of Captain Invincible.  You?

BF: That sounds awesome...can I join you?

That's all I want. Someone who appreciates my love of obscure movies.

(By the way, I'm including one of the clips here for your viewing pleasure)

I'll let you know what I think of the movie as a whole once I finally get to watch it ;)

Two Small Disappointments

I'll keep this brief....

1.) I didn't get the job at the coffee shop; they loved me, they wanted me to work there, but we could not make our schedules match up.  They wanted me to come during times when I would be in class....

2.) My date didn't actually go through.  He sent me a text a few hours before we were supposed to go out for coffee and chess, saying that he sustained an nasty injury during his workout that morning.  Apparently, he strained his trapezius muscle, and was having trouble even sitting up.

I guess the good news is that I'll still hopefully be able to get a rain check for the date, but as for the job...well, I'm not going to be getting that.

A Date....ish?

So, do you guys remember the cynical Russian guy I was obsessed with?  Well, we were talking online the other day, and he ended up asking me to join him for coffee and chess at the local hipster coffee shop.  I'm nervous and excited all at once.  I'm not sure if this is a date or not, so that puts a bit of pressure on me, since I'm not really in a place right now where I'm looking for a boyfriend....plus, we would totally kill each other if we ever tried to date.  Still, I don't want to hurt his feelings.  I think for now, I'll just treat this like a "two friends hanging out" sort of thing and see what happens.  Either way, wish me luck! :D

Date a Hipster

I think I discovered the solution to my lack of a dating life.  I just need to find a pretentious hipster who finds me attractive, and tell him he should date me because he can later say that he dated Emmy before anyone else realized it was so cool :)

The Date

Thank you all for waiting so patiently for this post! I know it has been a long time in coming :P

Okay, so the date went very well. He was a sweet, pleasant gentleman, who paid for my sandwich and let me give him a tour around the campus. There's actually not a ton to say about what we did, but I will say that he was very sweet, has an adorable smile, is short like me (which I actually kind of loved) and was pleasant to talk to, even if he was a little quiet. Before he left, he told me we should meet up again, and so it looks like there's going to be a second date in the works :) My only issue was that he was awfully quiet, and usually, when I pursue someone, they're a little more outgoing, so this was a real change from what I was used to. I think he's just shy, so I'm going to cut him some slack ;)

So, will this lead to anything? I can't say. And what is his name? Sadly, I have yet to find a literary character who matches his personality, so I'll have to withhold that information for just a tiny bit longer :P

My Apologies.........

....to those of you who were hoping for an update on my dating scene this weekend. I'm afraid I have to postpone it until later. You see, we didn't actually meet up today. Last night, I got a text from him saying that he had gotten food poisoning, and this morning, he was still not feeling much better. So................We're meeting up on TUESDAY. And this time, I promise I'll have gossip for all of you; good or bad.

A Date or Not a Date: That is the Question

Okay, so yesterday, I posted to tell everyone about my potential romance and how we're meeting up before the end of the month. I also said that this was not a date, just a meet n'greet. My friends don't agree. So, wonderful followers: you tell me. Is this a date or not? Here are the details:

I started to email him.

HE asked to start texting.

WE had planned to meet up sometime in the presence of a common friend.

HE asked to meet up sometime soon.

I suggested we meet up just one-on-one.

I also suggested some days we could go and several places to go.

HE chose two of the places he would like to go to.

HE's taking off a day of work to meet up with me.

I don't know who is going to pay.

Is this a date? Personally, I think that making it a date raises the stakes a bit, and also, I've honestly never really been on an official date before, so this makes me a bit nervous. Please give your opinions wonderful readers! Thank you :)

I Has a Happy

So.........For those of you who don't know, a few weeks back, a friend from high school texted me to say that she wanted me to meet her boyfriend's best friend. She said that we would be perfect together. And of course, I was excited, but I had my reservations. I mean, it just seemed too good to be true. But, one thing I will say about this friend is that when she tells me I'm going to like something, she's always right, even when I don't believe her initially. She's caused me to fall in love with countless musicals and books in the past, and even though the stakes are raised in this event, I'm still looking forward to giving this guy a try.

He sounds like an absolute darling. We've been emailing and texting for several days now, and I'm starting to get a feel for what he's like. Obviously, the best way to get to know him is to just meet him in person, and if all goes well, I'm going to be meeting up with him for lunch before the month is over. I'm excited. It's not going to really be a date, just a meet-and-greet and meal, but even so, its going to be fun.

I've been holding off telling too many people because I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but since I have now made contact with him (instead of using my friend as the go-between) I'm a bit more confident. Once there are more details, I'll be sure to post. :)

Rowen Atkinson's Guide to a First Date