Weekly Wodehouse #25

"There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"

"The mood will pass, sir."

~P.G. Wodehouse

Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machines

What do you get when you combine 1960s heart-throb Frankie Avalon, classic horror film star Vincent Price, a millionaire, a sidekick named Igor, and at least ten beautiful girls adorned in gold bikinis? The answer is Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machines, a hilarious movie from 1965.

Dr. Goldfoot (Price) is an evil scientist with a very unusual plan: robbing millionaires and billionaires of their assets by seducing them with robots that look like bikini-clad women. He creates a "bikini machine" that builds female robots who are programmed to seduce their wealthy targets and trick them into marriage so that they can control their stocks, properties, and other investments.

When Craig Gamble (Avalon) accidentally is targeted by Dr. Goldfoot's robot #11, the bit detective is determined to stop this menace before anything can happen. He teems up with targeted millionaire Todd Armstrong to stop Dr. Goldfoot and expose his horrible plot to the world.

It's an incredibly corny film, but made my whole family and I laugh until we cried. I hope you guys enjoy it as well! Here is the trailer for you guys to sample...

Trailer For Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever

A Little More Fun With Google Translate...

This one is for the wonderful Chessie, who requested some Jane Austin...


Pride and Prejudice...

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

However, little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

Translates to...

And the real world clearly, you'd be a lucky girl.

Feelings, however, little is known or opinions of the people around you, is the fact that, deep in the heart of the legal ownership of his daughter in the heart of local families.

And I've always been partial to this Sense and Sensibility quote about Marianne and Willoughby...

When he was present she had no eyes for anyone else. Everything he did was right. Everything he said was clever. If their evenings at the Park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together, and scarcely spoke a word to anybody else. Such conduct made them, of course, most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.

And now...

If I was on stage most of the others. They are right. It was noted that the only way, he said. Bameulneun cards in the park, it was concluded that if a crime, and the rest of the game, you can get good hands. If you want to dance all night in service 30 hours of extra work for the game and is careful to stay together, and rarely said a word. This approach, of course, most of them, but it was fun to laugh and quick start.

Fun With Google Translate

I was bored...so I decided to play around a bit with the dreaded Google Translate *lightning and thunder* I actually got the idea from a video put out by Smosh where they took one of their old videos, ran the entire script through Google Translate into Japanese, and then back into English. Next, the rerecorded their voices with the "new" script that Google Translate gave them. I decided to do something similar, but instead of going from English to Japanese to English, I changed my entries into several different languages before returning them to English. Here are the results. First, Poe's The Raven:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As if some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door--

Only this, and nothing more."

~English, French, German, Greek, Polish, Korean, Romanian, Swahili, Welsh, Italian, Irish, Spanish, and BACK to English...

Dark to midnight, and my opinion is weak and tired

Original and very important number of scientific studies, liver

He liked the group below, nearly napping, suddenly and registration

As the light falls, banging on the door of my room.

"It's nice to come with me," says I, who was at the door--

But no more than

And here is another one...This time, Shakespeare's Hamlet:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing, end them? To die; to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd.

And same languages as before...

A man, that is the question:

What, where, heart honor

Pockets, and outrageous, but the fate of arrow

O army major problem,

Finally, the difference? Looking for death;

There is more to this end the dream

Thousands of unrest and natural motion

Successor body, responsible for

Get a room.

Wow! How does it change so drastically? This is ridiculous! I mean, these two passages barely sound anything like the originals! And, they both sound slightly suggestive, don't they? I mean, with phrases like "successor body, responsible for/Get a room". But, mostly, its gibberish.

I think I might use this sometime on a complete poem, but I'm not sure.

Weekly Wodehouse #24

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

~P.G. Wodehouse

I Don't Read "Harry Potter"...

And I've only seen the first movie...but even so, this little comic makes me laugh.

And my big question for all of you Potter fans is this: why doesn't Voldemort have a nose?? (Serious answers are good, and silly, tongue-in-cheek answers will also be accepted...Honestly, I wouldn't be able to tell :P