The Skunch

Okay, so this has been making me laugh way more than it should.  And today, I'm going to explain why.

So, on the surface, funny picture, right?  But, what got me was the caption.  And I know what you're thinking.  Ha ha, sorta funny, right?  But, it gets better.

First, it's this derpy Grinch.  And I love it so much.  I would totally put that up in my yard.  It looks great!  But, it clearly is not a perfect Grinch.   But, then you read the caption and it's referred to as the Skunch.  Which means that this is not a mistake--this is its own thing!  (Oh, wow!)

And then, the first part of the line: "Oh shit".  Not only is this the Skunch, which is now a known quantity, but the Skunch elicits a reaction that is less than positive.  This is not "hooray" or "oh boy!" or even "hey, look".  No, this reaction implies that the speaker is not happy to see the Skunch.  And judging by the look on its face, it knows this.  The Skunch is a thing to be feared.  And it knows where you are.

The first time I showed this to someone, I laughed until I cried.

English as She is Spoke (Pedro Carolino)

I'm learning Japanese.  (私 は 少し 日本語 を はなします).  I'm no expert, and don't consider myself to be one.  Mostly, I can say basic sentences, and spout out some vocab.  Even that does not make a ton of sense.  I can say that I speak Japanese or English (私 は にほんご を はなします; 私 は 英語 を はなします), words like awesome, apple, and rice (すごい; りんご; ご飯) and make simple sentences that make little sense (私 は おいしです ご飯)--> I am delicious rice.

Sometimes, things get lost in translation.  And even while using online translators, such as Google translate (which helped form the Japanese characters for me) things often get screwed up. How many of you (and I'm sure it's most of you) have tried putting something into Google translate, filter it through a few languages, and set it back to English?  Usually what comes out is somewhat garbled, but generally intelligible.  I had tried it myself a few years ago, and posted the results on this blog.  It makes for an interesting way to spend a rainy afternoon.

Of course, because of its shortcomings, people generally use Google Translate knowing that this is not going to be a perfect translation.  And we certainly don't think that this is good and proper English.  But, what if someone had really butchered a translation and people believed that it was legitimate?  Well, that's what happened with my most recent read: English as She is Spoke.  What happened was a well-intentioned Portuguese man wanted to create an Portuguese to English phrasebook.  But, he didn't know any English and didn't have a Portuguese to English dictionary.  Rather, he had a Portuguese to French dictionary and a French to English phrasebook.  English as She is Spoke is the results of his careful translations.  Some of it makes sense, most is pretty garbled, and there are passages that mean nothing at all: "After the paunch comes the dance" or "To craunch the marmoset".

I felt bad for laughing, since it was obvious someone put a lot of time and effort into writing this book.  But, in all honesty, there is only one reason its still being published over 100 years later.  And that's because it is so funny!  As a textbook, it is no longer valid.  But, as a piece of entertainment, it's a real hoot!  If you're interested in language, then you should check this out.  But, also, you should check it out just because it's fun to read.

I have an additional treat for all you, too.  If you are interested in reading this book right away, you can check it out online at this link here.  This is a pretty fancy digital copy of the text, so it should be a lot of fun to explore!  I wish I had known it was online, so I wouldn't have had to use the library copy (which was mysteriously sticky--ewwww).

As always, happy reading!

Spam

You gotta love spam.  The email junk I mean, not the "ham" concoction.  (I highly doubt it's an actual pork product, to be honest).  But, back to spam.  I get a lot of it in my email accounts and even on this blog.  And while I'm a well-adjusted twenty-four year old girl, spam seems to believe that I'm an insecure and incredibly horny man who needs help finding hot women in my area.  My personal favorite so far begins with "Well, sexy cat..." Yup. That's me!  Emmy "Sexy Cat" Hart.  Guilty as charged ;)

I'm not entirely sure what I did to suggest this persona to the spamosphere.  But, I'm pretty sure that I don't need drugs to enhance my manhood.  I don't need drugs to make my boobs bigger either, but that would be more appropriate.  In fact, I'm almost a little insulted.  Sexy Cat Hart is perfect in every way, and certainly does not need help finding hot singles in her (his?) area!  I am doing just fine sitting alone at my computer on Saturday nights, crying into my beer, thank you very much.  I kid of course!

I also get spam comments on my blog, but since I moderate the comments, these almost never make it onto the blog proper.  Most of them are pretty...interesting.  I'm kicking myself because I don't have any examples on hand.  But, usually the person (or robot or pod person) commenting gushes about how well-written and fascinating the post was.  Sometimes, it even moves him (her? it?) to tears or some deep emotional response.  Wow!  Who'd have thought that droll little post I had whipped up about hats would have had such an effect on someone?  Not Sexy Cat!

Oh, who am I kidding?  Of course Sexy Cat knew!  That's why she posted it.  Because everything on this blog is apparently wordy gold.

That Hole in My Life, Part II

As I had mentioned in my previous post, the completion of a TV show really can leave a big gaping hole in your life.  What are you supposed to do with all that free time? Where are you supposed to find characters to back and stuff to talk about with other like-minded friends who are also addicted to your favorite show?  Since I finished not one, but two shows over my Christmas break, I feel like I have way too much time on my hands and I don't know what to do with myself.  I've already blathered on enough about Death Note... now on to the second one: Space Dandy!

"The name's Dandy.  But you can call me Space Dandy!"

Dr. Gel

Space Dandy is an intergalactic alien hunter.  His job is to find rare and new species of aliens, capture them, and bring them to the registration center so that they can be documented (and then, it is presumed that they let them go again).  This way, everyone can keep track of what's in the universe. However, Dandy either is super-inept or just has really bad luck, because he almost never brings in anything of value. Meanwhile, in the background there is an intergalactic war between two opposing armies: that of the Gogol Empire, and that of the Jaicro Empire.  While this doesn't entirely affect what Dandy  does, his steps are constantly dogged by Dr. Gel, a high-ranking member of the Gogol Empire, (who just happens to be a giant gorilla in a periwig), working under direct orders of the devious Admiral Perry.

While Death Note was incredibly dark and heavy, Space Dandy is just off-the-wall and fun.  The storyline sometimes don't make a lot of sense, and the characters Dandy encounters just get stranger and stranger.  In his travels, he is accompanied by QT, an intelligent, but outdated robot vacuum cleaner, and Meow, a Betelgeusean who just happens to look like a cat.

Now, the series does have a tendency to get a bit ridiculous, and even a little raunchy.  For example, Dandy's favorite eatery is called Boobies (probably in homage to Hooters) and is one of my space "brestaurants" (haha).  The waitresses all walk around in bikinis, etc.  But, episode plots are so ridiculous, it's hard not to love this show!  Dandy explores all

Admiral Perry and Dr. Gel

sorts of strange planets, such as the one populated entirely by intelligent plants or the one where the two remaining creatures are locked in a battle to the death over which is better: shirts or pants.  And of course, there is the time when his crew gets turned into zombies, where he goes fishing for a legendary Piscean god in an ocean of mud, or my personal favorites: the shapeshifting imposter that prompts a gameshow to discover who the real Dandy is (The First Ever Dandy Quiz!), and the time that Admiral Perry conquers a planet of librarians because they charged him for an overdue library book!

I have laughed so hard watching this show.  Episode after episode, you're amazed by how they continue to surprise you.  And really, you have a team of very likeable characters.  Even the villainous Dr. Gel worms his way into your heart.  And Admiral Perry?  Well, every series needs that sinister villain!  But, seriously, this is just a fun series!  And I'm sorely in need of a good anime to fill in it's place (sometimes, all a girl needs is just a good, ridiculous space anime that makes little to no sense, but is still AWESOME.  Is that too much to ask?)

No!  That is not too much to ask :(
(Dandy, Meow, & QT)

In the meantime, though, I'm entertaining myself with One Piece, which is awesome, and I have a line-up of other anime that I want to try.  I just have to find one that works for me.... I'll keep y'all posted :)

2-Headed Shark Attack

So, the other day, my brother and I saw a movie that was literally about a giant two-headed shark attacking a bunch of co-eds during a semester at sea.  It was pretty much one of the crummiest movies I've ever seen.  I don't even know how someone would come up with a storyline like this.  Like, giant shark is not good enough....so let's give the damn thing two heads, yes?

The Kilt Song

This is totally NSFW (or for those who can't stomach swearing), but when my brother showed this to me, I knew I just had to pass it on.  The whole kilt theme reminded me of Old Fool, and I like to think he would have found it funny....

Reading

For more adventures of Cardboard Colin and Paper Pauline, visit Philippa's website: http://www.mycardboardlife.com/

The Film's the Thing

Rachel is in a film directing class, and since I'm fairly good natured (and often too nice to say "no"), I usually get recruited to perform some part in all of her films, from Good-Intentioned-Best-Friend, to Crazed Fangirl, to awkward, terrified, boyish Roommate who is dolled up in makeup to the tune of Popular from Wicked.

Now, in real life, I don't like to wear makeup.  I think ponytails are awesome. I don't wear skirts.  And I cringe at the suggestion of "makeover" from well-meaning friends.  So, of course, this seemed like the perfect idea.  Put Emmy in makeup and a skirt.

It was an easy role; I just had to magnify my horror at having to wear eyeshadow and lipstick.

The first attempt left me looking like the Joker from Dark Knight.  It was all I could do to keep from laughing.  "You wanna know how I got these scars?"

Waiting for that Special Someone

(Click the picture for better quality :3)

Musical Parodies #2

Here's the second installment of musical parodies.  I hope you guys enjoyed the first one :)

So, if Rachel sees this, she's prolly going to kill me...so don't tell her...Shhhh.  (jk, jk...)

So, here's Whataya Want from Me? by Adam Lambert....

Musical Parodies #1

After spending way too much time on YouTube instead of doing my homework, I came across several fun vidoes that were parodies of other songs.  As of right now, I have three lined up, but there might be more if this proves to be popular with all of you.

So, here's the original song first (in case you didn't know it beforehand, or wanted your memory refreshed), and after that is the parody song.  I think the three I have so far are fun because not only does it parody the song, but it makes fun of the music video.  For me, that's just an added bonus :)

Enjoy!  First up is Safety Dance by Men Without Hats.

SNL Batman

WTH Wednesday

Hey, guys, and welcome to the second installment of WTH Wednesday!  My good friend Sarah introduced me to Dara O'Briain with this video, and I thought while perhaps not a total wth (or wtf?) it was still really funny.  If you'd prefer something a bit more wtf, then please feel free to complain about this outrage in the comments, and I'll remedy the issue for next week :)

What the Heck? Wednesdays #1

Hello, everyone :)

As many of you know, I'm really into random stuff that makes little to no sense.  I'm sure many of you remember How To Kill A Mockingbird, or Gods of Olympus, just to name a few of the more memorable ones.  Most of the time, I only include these videos and comics if they fit into something about literature or life.  But, since there are so many bizarre things that I still want to share with all of you, I thought it might be fun to include a special day dedicated just to them!  This is What the Heck (WTH) Wednesdays!  If you're really not interested in my special brand of humor, fear not, because these posts will be clearly marked, so you don't have to check them out if you're not interested.  But, I do encourage you to at least give them a try, because you can find some pretty crazy stuff by roaming around on the Internet.

Not all of these entries are really going to be "What the Heck" worthy, but hopefully, they'll still be interesting, cool, or thought provoking.  Maybe a better term would be "Random Wednesdays," but that lacked the alliteration you get with "What the Heck" and being an English major, I could not bear to sacrifice such prime poetic tone.

For my first WTH Wednesday, I'm going to post a video that has become rather viral as of late.  I hope you find it as amusing as I did :)

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

What is Fun?

Fun is staying up late with a really good friend, eating good food, and watching When Harry Met Sally, which people have been trying to get me to watch for months now.  And after the food is gone and the movie is over, it's even more fun when you realize just how slap happy you are, and start playing around on Tumblr, where you find a picture that says YOU ARE A SUPERHERO!  THE OBJECT TO YOUR LEFT IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR POWER; THE OBJECT TO YOUR RIGHT IS YOUR WEAKNESS.  In this case (since Rachel was holding the computer), the source of her power was moi, and her weakness would be the notes from her class for today....she has a test in it and was studying before I came over.  The question that arises: does this mean that she'll fail the test since it's her weakness?  And if I come to the test with her (and I'm the source of her power), does that mean she'll get like a 105% on the test?

Happy Friday, everyone!

Found This Funny Story Online....

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

 

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

 

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.

 

At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!

 

Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

 

"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Mytho Logique

Mytho Logique (ESMA, 2010) from Gom Poitel on Vimeo.

Table Talk

A fun little poem I found in Futility Closet's email updates:

At a tavern one night,

Messrs. Moore, Strange, and Wright

Met to drink and their good thoughts exchange;

Says Moore, “Of us three,

Everyone will agree,

There’s only one knave, and that’s Strange.”

Says Strange, rather sore,

“I’m sure there’s one Moore,

A most terrible knave, and a fright,

Who cheated his mother,

His sister and brother–”

“Oh, yes,” replied Moore, “that is Wright.”

– Anonymous

The Ugly Truth Behind Figures of Speech

Have you ever thought about what figures of speech would actually look like if you took them literally? I happened to find this little tidbit while randomly searching on the Internet for who knows what :P I MIGHT have been on Stumbleupon.com, but I can't even remember now.

Click on the image to enlarge it :) Oh, and I apologize for the language in the last panel...

Writing Lessons

Today in my tutoring class, we were getting an introduction into the proper ways to tutor someone's writing, and the improper ways. As we were going on about how important it is to focus on our own writing as well, and admit that just because we're the tutors doesn't mean that we know everything, an idea popped into my head, so I went online, created an account on Cheezeburger.com, and voila! This comic was the end result. The ending is random, I know, but I needed an extra panel, and this seemed like something a pissed off Hannibal Lecter would say.

I don't know if this lol is online yet, but its on my account's page. You can look access it by clicking on the picture below. If you do, please vote! :)