So, I tend to overthink things, and basically everyone who follows this blog knows this. Anyways, there's this guy who comes to some of my library programs--I have an ongoing event series that he always attends. Real nice guy. We sometimes talk, but never for any real length of time. I try to engage him in longer conversations, but it seems like we're always on different pages--when he wants to talk, I'm busy, and when I want to talk, he seems distracted and has to cut out of the conversation early.
Unfortunately, I can't give 100% attention to him because I have to take care of set-up and clean-up for my programs, and keep things in order. But, I would like to talk to him more. The thing is, I don't want him to think that I'm coming on to him, because I can't figure out how I feel about him. I've creeped on him on Facebook, and I'm happy to see that he's single. The thought of him finding a girlfriend bothers me, so I suppose there is some emotion there. But, I just don't think I want a boyfriend right now. I don't know. Honestly, I haven't really thought seriously about a guy since Movie Boy (and that was when I graduated in 2013).
My mom pointed out that I should try to engage this library cutie in more conversation. Which, is easier said than done (see above) since we seem to be on different pages. I surprised myself with how irritated that comment made me. I'm trying to engage him in conversation, and I'm trying to be nice and friendly, but I have other stuff I have to do, too, and I can't afford to just hang out and talk all night. Now, if we went out somewhere, I would be free to talk, but I don't want to make him think it was a date.
The problem is that I don't know how I feel. Part of me obviously feels something, but the other half of me is pretty guarded, and wants to get to know him better before I dive into anything. I guess, too, my pride is bruised, since I thought I was doing things right, but clearly, my mom thinks I'm not making enough effort. What do you guys think?