What to Do?

So, I tend to overthink things, and basically everyone who follows this blog knows this.  Anyways, there's this guy who comes to some of my library programs--I have an ongoing event series that he always attends.  Real nice guy.  We sometimes talk, but never for any real length of time.  I try to engage him in longer conversations, but it seems like we're always on different pages--when he wants to talk, I'm busy, and when I want to talk, he seems distracted and has to cut out of the conversation early.

Unfortunately, I can't give 100% attention to him because I have to take care of set-up and clean-up for my programs, and keep things in order.  But, I would like to talk to him more.  The thing is, I don't want him to think that I'm coming on to him, because I can't figure out how I feel about him.  I've creeped on him on Facebook, and I'm happy to see that he's single.  The thought of him finding a girlfriend bothers me, so I suppose there is some emotion there.  But, I just don't think I want a boyfriend right now.  I don't know.  Honestly, I haven't really thought seriously about a guy since Movie Boy (and that was when I graduated in 2013).

My mom pointed out that I should try to engage this library cutie in more conversation.  Which, is easier said than done (see above) since we seem to be on different pages.  I surprised myself with how irritated that comment made me.  I'm trying to engage him in conversation, and I'm trying to be nice and friendly, but I have other stuff I have to do, too, and I can't afford to just hang out and talk all night.  Now, if we went out somewhere, I would be free to talk, but I don't want to make him think it was a date.

The problem is that I don't know how I feel.  Part of me obviously feels something, but the other half of me is pretty guarded, and wants to get to know him better before I dive into anything.  I guess, too, my pride is bruised, since I thought I was doing things right, but clearly, my mom thinks I'm not making enough effort.  What do you guys think?

A Question for My Gentlemen Readers

I honestly don't understand men sometimes....like, Professor Thomas has been acting so strange lately, and its really confusing to me (or perhaps, I'm reading too much into this, and if that is the case, please tell me as much). I really don't want to talk to him about it right now, so I was hoping that all the guys who read this post would be able to give me some insight.

1. Professor Thomas is very laid back. And if something is bothering him, he usually won't say anything. Last week at dinner, the father of a classmate made some comments about him which I found to be very rude, and I said as much to the Professor. His response was to turn to me and retort angrily that if it bothers me so much, I should say something. (And please bear in mind that he DOESN'T snap at people like that. I don't think he's ever talked to me that way before). And I was just defending him. I didn't comment in front of anyone-- just me and him. Did I somehow offend him?.

2. He touches me a lot. Pinching, poking, grabbing my arm, touching my hair, even when I show that I don't like it. (Nothing inappropriate, but its very consistent).

3. A really cute guy said "hi" to him at dinner tonight (it was a guy from his dorm), and I made a comment that I thought this guy was cute. He offered to introduce us, and I said no. He then proceeded to bring the guy over AGAIN and embarrass me in front of him. Like he invited him over with the sole purpose of killing any interest between the two of us. And he did this before with another guy.

Am I totally reading too much into this? I just don't understand guys sometimes and I'd really appreciate your help on the matter, gentlemen. (And ladies, if you have boyfriends/guy friends and you recognize any behavior or have any advice, please feel free to comment as well)!

The Hug

I hug you, because we're friends,
but when I go to pull away,
you still hold onto me.
And I'm trapped for a second
in the gentle warmth of your embrace.
That one second felt like an eternity
because I sensed something from you
that I could not feel in myself.
But even so...
I think I'd still hug you again.

Butterflies...

I've had butterflies in my stomach all evening, and unlike every other time, I have NO idea why they are there...and it bothers me. Do you ever feel that way? Like you're excited, nervous, scared, or exhilerated, but you have no idea why?

And yes, I know that last sentance was a fragment, but I can't be a Grammar Nazi all the time!

Four Individuals

Sometimes, Life decides to let you be for a while; sometimes, it decides that its time to throw you a curve ball. I think that's where I am right now. I'm conflicted and a little confused; not unhappy, but a bit unsure of what's going on and what I'm supposed to do about it. There are a certain four individuals in my life right now, and each one seems to be pulling me in a different direction. I'm not sure how I'm going to work through it, but it's nothing too stressful; just puzzling and a challenge.

*One teases and can be sweet as hell, but I don't know if he's interested or just wants to be a friend; I'm not sure how I feel about him, so I can't say what I want.

*One still holds my heart, even though I try and take it back. Leave me alone!

*One looks at me, and I think he's seeing into my soul. It frightens and exhilarates me at the same time.

*One wins me over with his awkward nature and sweet personality. I wish he felt the same way I do about him, but I can't read his mind; I don't know his heart.