Reflection

The weather was much cooler today than it has been.  It's already starting to feel like fall, even though we're about a month away.  I sat outside after dinner and did some reading, but I'm not used to these chillier temperatures yet, and my toes were freezing in my flip-flops.

The other day, my coworkers were joking about getting me a boyfriend, and I was quick to discourage the idea.  But, it would be nice.  I'm nearly thirty and still single.  I have not had anyone who made an impression on me in a while--I mean really made an impression, like made me think I could actually see a future with him--not since Movie Boy, and that was five or so years ago.

I feel a little sad, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm lonely or just nostalgic for the changing leaves.

Reading in the Cold

I love to sit outside and read.  It's one of the highlights of my day (not including crawling between the covers to read right before bed).  But, the days have been getting shorter and colder, so by the time I get home from work and eat dinner, there's not much time to sit outside before it gets too dark to see.  And it's so cold, I can feel my toes freezing in my flipflops.  But, even though I was shivering in my polar-fleece sweatshirt, I stuck it out for a good forty-five minutes.

Sitting inside now, but my feet are still cold.  Even though I love Fall, I'm starting to wish that it was summer again.

Last College Autumn

Autumn has settled upon my senior year of college.  To be honest, I find it hard to believe that I've been attending this school for nearly four years now.  Where does the time go?  Seriously!  I'm so amazed.

Sometimes, the swiftness of time terrifies me.  And I'll be honest, I'm a bit nervous about graduating in May, and leaving all this behind.  Don't get me wrong, I love being at home....I love my family and all the friends I can only see when I'm there...but I know I'll miss the campus, my college friends, and the freedom I feel here.  Sure, there are classes and such, but it's been nice having a dorm to retreat to, and having friends only a five to ten minute walk away.  I love the feeling of the campus in the fall, and I think that I'm going to miss that more than most things.

I know I have a few more months, but this is my last autumn here, and I want to enjoy as much of it as I possibly can.  Ever since I was a child, fall has always been my favorite season.  I love the weather, the crispness in the air....the start of school, my birthday, and Halloween were all in the fall (and in that order).  It was and is a magical time.

There are so many things I still want to do here, but at the same time, I feel as though my time to move on has come.  I guess what I'm looking for right now is a chance to stay attached to this campus forever, but as a student.  I want to continue to learn, and to wander the campus, taking in every delicious detail so that nothing is forgotten...Like a ghost, but alive, and well, and happy.  I want to freeze time for just a little bit longer.

And sometimes, I wish I could go back to freshman year, when I was just a naive kid wandering around to God-knows where with a frog-faced philosopher who made me feel like I could fly, even if only for a short time.  True, things fell apart, but I still think of him fondly when I see our cherry blossom tree bloom in the spring, or when I walk past the bench and lampposts where we used to meet up every night.  I guess, all in all, you could say I'm feeling somewhat nostalgic....and I guess that would be right.

Almost-Autumn Weather

The weather today, as compared to the past few months, is so cool that I almost feel like I could call it autumn.  And the moisture in the air from the impending rain, makes it feel so delightfully brisk.  I wish the weather would last like this forever.

I can't wait until fall comes.  Until I can spend countless hours on a weekend sitting outside in the crisp fall air, reading books until my fingers become too cold to turn the pages, pulling my hoodie closer around my chilled frame.

I become the most alive in the fall.

I cannot wait to come back to life again.