"Take no heed of her...She reads a lot of books."
~Jasper Fforde

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Found This Funny Story Online....

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."


  1. I so hope that's true:D

    I remember reading a true story of an RAF pilot that, during the Battle of Britain, had gone out for a drink with a girl he met, got drunk and drove her home wobbling from one side of the road to the other. He then drove back to the RAF aerodrome he was stationed at. He retired to his bed but started to suffer from bed spin (an affliction brought on from copious amounts of drinking, made worse by g-pressures in various directions. It leads you to develop a feeling of rotation whilst lying down. I have experienced this myself so i can assure you it is quite uncomfortable) The pilot was finding sleep quite difficult due to this so when an announcement came over the tannoy he was quite delighted. The announcement was that a pilot was need to go up to patrol for a German bomber fleet coming in over the area. Night flying in those days was a very difficult job even when sober but he decided that it would be better than the bed spin so up he went.

    After a few minutes in the air he narrowly misses flying into one of the bombers (most pilots never even came close to seeing any in the pitch blackness). He fires a burst from his guns and brings it down. Although victorious our pilot is now lost having not payed any attention to his position. With almost no hope of living through the night he flies on into the night. In a state of panic he spots a dim light in the distance and recognizes the outline of a runway. With great relief he lands the hurricane and is greeted by his former flight instructor. The pilot quickly explains what has happened during the night and his former instructor suggest that perhaps it would be best to visit the local for a drink to celebrate.

    Now that is a night out!

  2. Love the story, Tom! Thanks :)

  3. Both good stories- although I don't approve of the actions taken... :)


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