Today, I find myself so frustrated and upset...I saw Willoughby again, and the two of us had ample time to talk. I wanted to run away so many times...or to puke, I'm not really sure which. He was being so cruel! It frustrates me, because I don't know what happened. He never used to be like this.
The past month or so, I had been spending all my time with him, and the two of us were picking up on each others tendencies so much so that you could almost make us interchangeable at times. The Roomie has mentioned several occasions when I said things JUST like he does, with the same words, tone, and even same VOICE. In a sense, we were almost becoming one. Then, there came a point where we started to become very different people again. For me, it was a Jekyll and Hyde experience. Not just that he was displaying a complete transformation, but also, someone (or something) had separated us...I was Dr. Jekyll and he became Mr. Hyde.
I feel as though a lot of this is my fault. I mean, I was the one who fostered such a relationship with Willoughby, and I let him continue to act this way for so long. Like Dr. Jekyll, I turned a blind eye to my counterpart (in a sense, as Willoughby is NOT me). Now, I am determined to let it go. There is nothing I can do; he has to figure it out on his own. As Dr. Jekyll says,
"I swear to God I will never set eyes on him again. I bind my honour to you that I am done with him in this world. It is all at an end. And indeed he does not want my help; you do not know him as I do; he is safe, he is quite safe; mark my words, he will never more be heard of."
~Robert Louis Stevenson (The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
Now, all I can do is pray for strength.
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