Have you ever been in a situation where you ask someone something, because you want to know, but when you realize they are going to actually tell you, you're not sure if you really wanted to know in the first place? That's where I am right now. You see, I asked Odysseus to tell me something very important, because I felt that I deserved to know, considering everything, and I'm still waiting for his reply. To be honest, I'm terrified of what I'm going to end up hearing. I'm so scared...because I don't know if I actually want to hear the answer to this question. Perhaps, I should just ask him to forget about it, but I feel like since I brought it up, I should follow through. I don't want to shrink back from the truth, but all the same, it's one of those situations where I don't know if I can handle the truth...
Please, Lord, give me strength...
It's probably better to know the answer. ok so if you left it all a mistery you could try and convince yourself in your own head that what you want to hear is what he would say. is that going to make it better though? doubt can start bothering a person and it plays on the mind quite a bit. for what its worth i really hope what he tells you is what your wanting to hear :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll be able to handle it. Not on your own strength but on the strength that He never fails to provide for those who cry out to Him. Funny how this was also my facebook status today :)
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Truth (no matter what it is) is better than not knowing and always wondering!
ReplyDelete@Javmango...
ReplyDeleteThank you. I really appreciate your support. Yesterday, the email came, and I got the answer that I was so terrified to ask for. I didn't exactly come away feeling warm fuzzies, but it was the best answer he could have given me, concerning everything, and I'm no longer wallowing in the doubt that was consuming my mind day and night. I'm currently feeling a bit empty inside, but in the long run, I think this is better for me. And I'll be able to move on from here.
@ames4eva...
ReplyDeleteThank you. It was not an easy situation for me, but through prayer and giving everything over to God, I was able to get through it. I got an answer that, while not exactly what I wanted, was the best that Odysseus could honestly give me after what has happened between us. Someday, I might blog about it, but for now, I'm just hurt and trying to get over it. Thanks for your support :)
@Chess...
ReplyDeleteChess, as always, you speak the truth. I'm glad I got the answer to this awful nagging question (that has literally been eating at me for the past several days) and now, I can fully finish the healing process. It was a lot easier to accept than most of the stuff Odysseus has told me recently, and it was much less painful and shocking. Thank you for supporting me :)
That hollow feeling in the cheast is horrable, but it doesn't last. you will get through it, though it might not feel like it right now.
ReplyDeleteyou seem a cool girl emmy, i'm sure stuff will pick up soon. :)
@Javmango...
ReplyDeleteThank you again. Its so wonderful to know that people care and are willing to help me get through this. Of course, I have the Roomie, Kiity, and Professor Thomas, but I don't really know how to completely explain these feelings in any other way than writing; which is of course where the blog comes in.
You seem like a really good guy, yourself, Javmango! Thank you again! :)