Odysseus #7 (Ulysses Terminalis)

I had noticed for a time your distance
And perhaps I ignored what should
Have been noted.

You weren't yourself; you kept apart,
And I, so lovestruck,
Was more blinded than Oedipus
Or Tiresias, who though, without eyes
Both saw and knew all.

Perhaps, I was not blind, but stubborn;
I thought that I could make this work
I loved you, so you should be able to love me.

You were wasting away under my fingertips
Pulling back, but still tied to me.
And, I was so sure that we were destined to be;
But the Grey Sisters wove our tapestries on separate looms.

You came to me and told me that you were sorry.
You held my naked heart in your hands
And with the utmost delicacy, you cut it to pieces;
And it took all that I had
To hold my life's blood inside me,
To keep back the hot and bitter tears.

You could not look at my eyes,
Red rimmed,
But you whispered to the heart in your hands.
You told me I was wonderful, that you cared
But that your feelings were not the same as mine.
And that you felt it would be best if we parted
For a time.

I stared at my heart in your hands,
Frustrated and pained,
Though not surprised.
I had known this would happen
But, I thought that we were destined,
Because I loved you.

And you walked me around our island,
Trying to comfort me as you crushed my heart,
Almost offering me the pieces as an apology,
Some sickening sacrifice for what
Had been done to me.

And, I wasn't angry with you,
as you thought I would be.
I accepted what you told me, even though
I hated to hear it.

It was painful for you as well,
And I could read it on your face,
In your posture
So, I could hold you no grudge.
You are a good man, Ulysses,
And I believe you loved me,
But in a different sort of way.
All that you were doing was for me,
Because you could not bear to see me cry.

And, I walked you to the edge of the island,
Where a ship awaited you,
And just before you left,
You hugged me;
And tipped the pieces of heart into my palm.

I didn't wait to see you off.
I walked away, returned to my rooms,
The dank and gloom;
To sleep for ten thousand, million years
Until you come back to me.

~Penelope

~Calypso