Yes, I know this is my third post of the day, but in my literature class, we read this passage from The Aeneid, and I was sitting behind Odysseus, and I just couldn't help but think of him, and of the things he had told me...
The queen stopped but he,
warned by Jupiter now, his gaze held steady,
fought to muster the torment in his heart. At last
he ventured a few words: "I...you have done me
so many kindnesses, and you could count them all.
I shall never deny what you deserve, my queen,
never regret my memories of Dido, not while I
can recall myself and draw the breath of life.
I'll state my case in a few words. I never dreamed
I'd keep my flight a secret. Don't imagine that.
Nor did I once extend a bridegroom's torch
or enter into a marriage pact with you.
If the Fates had left me free to live my life,
to arrange my own affairs or my own free will,
Troy is the city, first of all, that I'd safeguard,
Troy and all that's left of my people whom I cherish.
The grand palace of Priam wold stand once more,
with my own hands I would fortify a second Troy
to house my Trojans in defeat. But not now.
Grynean Apollo's oracle says that I must seize
on Italy's noble land, his Lycian lots say 'Italy!'
There lies my love, there lies my homeland now.
If you, a Phoenician, fix your eyes on Carthage,
a Libyan stronghold, tell me, why do you grudge
the Trojans their new homes on Italian soil?
What is the crime if we seek far-off kingdoms too?
~Virgil (The Aeneid)
Believe it or not, it was actually quite therapeutic, because for some reason, it kinda helped to me to start to let go. This relationship is very rocky right now, because I don't know what he wants from me, and I honestly don't think he knows what he wants from himself. So, right now, all I can do is just to pray for my Odysseus, and hope that all works out in the end. As for me, I'm ready to move on and see what comes from there.